"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we could ever ask or imagine..."
I have some bittersweet news. Let me first start with the "sweet" before I get to the "bitter." Before I tell you the wonderful news, I first have to say that this update is extremely over-do. But in light of all that has happened in the past weeks, I have not been able to do much celebrating. About three weeks ago, I was spending time with Marta and her family. It was good to just be with them for several hours and "catch up" on things. While I was driving her home, she points to the tavern that many of you have ceaselessly prayed for, and tells me that the tavern is closed. I continued driving and could not comprehend what she was saying. But sure enough as I drove past the doors where shut and the windows were boarded up!!!!! THE TAVERN IS CLOSED! After over a year of praying for that place, God has answered our prayers. I dropped Marta off and began back towards the house and as I drove past it for a second time I still was in shock. I could not believe that God had answered my prayers right in front of my eyes. I just feel so excited to see Him fulfill something that was placed deep in my heart. I love God! He is so good.
Even with all of this celebration, we are still not out of the woods. I visited Peela and Joel at the tavern. They told me that they had been shut down because they did not have their license. A fight broke out a few nights before and four men were stabbed with one dying. The police came and investigated and that's when the tavern was shut down. However, a few days ago I was visiting with Marta again and the doors to the tavern were opened. I know that they are not officially open again but they are trying to continue on in their business. So please keep on praying. We want the tavern to be shut down permanently.
I just want to thank all of you who have prayed and prayed for that tavern. I hope this builds your faith in Christ all the more. He has heard us and we can't stop praying now. We are on the brink of something great. So please keep praying for that "immeasurably more."
Now, I have some very sad news. Last Sunday, April 4th, three of our Port Elizabeth team members were in a car accident on their way to Jeffreys Bay. A good friend of the team was driving the car when a tire blew and caused their car to flip multiples times. All four of the kids were injured and sadly sweet Sarah Buller died later that afternoon. We had a beautiful memorial service on Wednedsay, which was her 19th birthday. This has been an incredibly difficult time as you can imagine. I am currently with my team and the PE team in Gordon's Bay (near Cape Town) being ministered to and counseled through this tough season. Our hearts are shattered by this loss. And our prayers cover the Buller family. Our teams will never be the same but we truly place all of our hope in Christ. We know that she is at His side worshipping Him and she is being honored for her tender-servant heart. We cling to the Lord during this time and know that He is STILL able to do "immeasurably more than all we could ever ask or imagine." Thanks for your prayers. Please keep praying.
I'm sitting in my room on a rainy Sunday evening. I have a few candles lit and I'm sitting on my floor watching the rain fall on the side yard (I know, it's a very "emo" moment). I was looking over the wall across to the field next to our house. There is this tree that I've looked at so often but I just realized that I have never really "seen" that tree before. I mean it's been there the whole year and half I've been here but I've never really looked at it. Actually, I have no idea what kind of tree it is. I've never seen one like it in America. Which makes me realize that I'm in AFRICA!!!!! Yes I am in Africa...but I forget that most days, more like every day. Maybe you have to live here to understand this. I'm so comfortable here and I have forgotten that I'm fulfilling a huge dream of mine. I'm fulfilling a huge part of God's plan for my life. But like that tree across the way, I don't "see" Africa anymore. It's too hard.
I named this blog "Crutches" because I always have to have some type of crutch. I can't walk here in Africa all by myself. I am completely incapable of coping without my crutch. I know many people think that my crutch should be Christ, I should never be able to walk without Him...especially in Africa. But, come on, let's be honest. Christ is far from my crutch. I like to pick a new crutch for each new season. Sometimes it's a good friend, you know the type you run to for just about everything. Sometimes it's the internet or newest season of my favorite tv show (my current favorite crutch). Or sometimes it's a guy that makes me feel significant or can be my go-to when things are hard. Sometimes it's my family. Sometimes it laughter or a large coke light (I'm addicted!!!) Sometimes it's even my hopes and dreams of the next phase in life.
When I'm still in moments like this, when I have an epiphany that I'm actually in Africa, I HATE my crutches. I love Africa. I love being a missionary. I love leading this team. But sometimes I just can't cope. I can't cope without my crutches. I can't cope with the poverty. That's the one thing in Africa I just can't get a grip on. I can't cope with the abuse and the drinking; the endless amounts of glue the street kids sniff; the men who sell corn by the bank; or the little woman from Zimbabwe who sells her beaded African animals so she can send money back to her literally starving family. I try to rest. I try to draw closer to the Lord. I hear myself telling my team that they can't shoulder the burdens of their ministries all by themselves. They have to give it over to the Lord. Those are words from my very lips. But the burdens are hard. And I've gotta dull the pain somehow, right?
Fear. That's what keeps me from letting go of my crutches and trying to walk. I am fearful of Christ not coming through for me. What if He's not enough? What if He doesn't come to my rescue quickly enough? What if He doesn't do want I need Him to do? What if He leaves me hanging?
How many stories are there in the Gospels of people having to overcome their fear and just TRUST GOD? Think about that father who wanted his son to be delivered from the demons that kept throwing his son into the fire? His response to Christ was "help my unbelief!!!!" I can't imagine what it would be like to trust God with a son or a daughter! That man must have felt threatened of losing all control. But didn't Jesus come through? Wasn't He enough? So I want to be like that. I am going to just trust that the Lord will come through for me when I place my crutches down and try to walk. One step at a time, right?
I'm so sorry that I haven't been updating my blog very much. Being a leader is a new experience so I'm still trying to learn how to use my time most effectively. I hope things are going well in America! We love hearing about the new president. Most everyone I speak to here in Africa is so excited about Obama. We had a great day of prayer and fasting on Inauguration Day for our new leader. We asked for wisdom and protection over his life. I have great hope for America, not because of Obama necessarily but because we've declared God as our great protector. And our trust lies within Christ Jesus.
Things here in Jeffreys has been wonderful. I am not just saying that either. I could not have asked for a better team of my precious girls. Aaryn, my co-leader, and I are always saying tht our team is so teachable and motivated. These ten girls (and one in America) are so ready to make an impact and be used. I am very excited about this semester. And their attitudes make my job so much more of a joy and not a job. I appreciate them so much.
Please pray for us! We are always in need of prayer! The girls are doing well in their ministries but they have very long days. So please pray for rest for them and extra amounts of energy. Also pray for wisdom for Aaryn and I as we teach, disciple, and lead this team. It takes tons of wisdom and spirit-filled decisions to make sure that we are operating in a way to bring glory to the Lord. And we are always seeking for prayers for our protection here. We've been fortunate but we want to continue to remain safe at all times. Thanks so much!!!
I leave tomorrow for South Africa! I had a wonderful time at home but it was way too short. I am extremely glad that I was able to come and be with my family and friends for Christmas. I was in need of a break and it was great to relax for a few weeks.
I am leading a wonderful team of girls with my friend Aaryn. Our first semester really focused on the training aspect of missions as we prepared our students for this semester. Our group of 38 students and 15 leaders has now be divided into three teams going to Swaziland, Port Elizabeth (SA) and Jeffreys Bay. In our outreach teams for this semester, our focus shifts more to practicing all the things we've learned from last semester. Our student will spend the majority of their time in ministry five days a week. Our hope is that they will also begin a discipling girls in the townships or the local churches. Along with discipleship and ministry, Aaryn and I will be teaching and leading these girls into deeper relationships with the Lord as well as taking care of all the team's logisics. Please pray for Aaryn and I as we are "all things to all people." :) We are in great need of your prayers.
As always, thank you for your sweet prayers and generosity. It was so great to see many of your faces while I was home. I'll see you in May!
What am I suppose to do when I hear or I see the brokenness of this world? It's not a pretend story. People are physically dying. I am an American. And for that I am so blessed. I am born into wealth and endless freedom. But what about the rest of this world? What about them? What about the kids that are literally starving in Zimbabwe? And they lay in dirty hospitals waiting for medical supplies that will probably never make it there. And whose nurses work for less than $1 American dollar a day, which doesn't even cover their bus fare to travel to the hospital, while their ruler sits in luxury ruling with his iron fist. He allows this devastation to continue all for the sake of power and money. Zimbabweans are dying because of greed.
Why are we so broken? And why do I have so much? I don't know what to do with myself. I have so much and the world has so little.
Today, how many girls will be sold into the sex trade? Today, how many boys will be taken from their families to fight for a cause that only takes away from more families?
But what about Jeffreys Bay? There are hungry people here too. They need so much help. But I get so annoyed with their begging at times. I feel like they ask but what if one day they just take? I'm fearful of what they will do. Even Jbay has more than most other counties in Africa but they are still so incredibly needy. This country is raising up a generation that is created to be dependent on others. And that scares me.
So I ask again, why are we so broken? And what must I do? I'm tired of turning my face away from the problem. I refuse to turn a deaf ear. I don't want to be ignorant anymore. So I leave you with a powerful poem. I hope it deeply scares you as it has me and leads us both into a holy rage.
What is, therefore, the task of the preacher (or the church) today?
Shall I answer: "Faith, hope and love"?
That sounds beautiful.
But I would say-Courage.
No, even that is not challenging enough to be the whole truth..
Our task today isrecklessness.
For what we Christians lack is not psychology or literature,
we lack holy rage.
The recklessness that comes from the knowledge of God and humanity.
The ability to rage when justice lies prostrate on the streets...
And when the lie rages across the face of the earth -
a holy anger about things that are wrong in the world.
To rage against the ravaging of God's earth,
and the destruction of God's world.
To rage when little children must die of hunger,
when the tables of the rich are sagging with food.
To rage at the senseless killing of so many,
and against the madness of militaries.
To rage against the lie that calls the threat of death and the strategy of destruction - Peace.
To rage against complacency.
To restlessly seek that recklessness that will challenge and seek to change human history until it conforms with the norms of the Kingdom of God.
And remember the signs of the Christian Church have always been -
the Lion, the Lamb, the Dove and the Fish...
but never the chameleon.
I visited Khulisa feeding point on Thursday morning. I've been around the container several times but I have not been able to go and be at the feeding in the morning until this past week. I was excited to see that the kids are doing well and seem happy. The container has a gas stove, some boxes of supplies, a table, and some crazy looking curtains. It's simple, plain, and missing one necessary item. The container has no chairs. The children stand while they eat or sit on the cold dirty floor. It makes me really sad. I have known that Noma really needed chairs but we just simply didn't have the money. I told her that I would check the prices of the cheapest chairs I could find. She was excited that I was recognizing this need. She told me that she really wants to have her ladies Bible study moved to the container. And the chairs could be used for a children's program. I caught on to her excitement and visited several furniture stores. But each place I went I found that the chairs were too expensive. I couldn't justify spending money on chairs that would take away from feeding the children.
A few days ago was a historic day for Jeffreys Bay. They opened a mall!!! It's really exciting! Haha. But I went into a store there to check out opening day prices on chairs. Since the economy back in the States is struggling, the dollar is very strong in South Africa right now (I truly do not understand how I am benefiting from my own hurting economy. I should have paid more attention in economics). The dollar was the highest it's ever been since I've been here and the highest it's been in years. So I found the chairs I needed for 69 Rand (S. African currency). This means that for every chair I bought I was spending about $7.00. I was really excited. So I bought 18 of them and was grateful that the Lord had provided. I walked up to the counter and each chair rang up for only 50 Rand!!!!!! So I paid less than $5.00 for each chair! Praise God!
I took the 18 chairs to Noma and she was thrilled. She started clapping her hands and jumping up and down. She said that just this week her ladies' bible study had no place to meet anymore. They are now meeting in the container with the new chairs! I just kept telling God how thankful I was. And how much of a Provider he is!
Please pray for the bible study there and also for the bible study we are hoping to begin for the children. I'm excited to see what else is going to happen at the Khulisa!
I'm tired from beating the drum all week in Somerset East. We joined with three other ministries to bring the movie "Beat the Drum" to this small little town. The movie addresses the issue of AIDs in South Africa. The HIV statistics for South Africa are so scary. It is so important for people to know the truth about this pandemic that is taking the lives of South Africans at a dangerous rate.
The team did a great job ministering in the schools and community. Our teams were a mix of each ministry represented as well as a few local volunteers. I was apart of the community team that traveled to farms on the outskirts of the town as well as to a children's home and a prison. We had such a fruitful week! We saw hundreds come to know the Lord and many chose to take a stand against AIDS by abstaining until they are married. This is huge in their culture and it was sweet to watch it all happen.
We have many stories about the power of the Lord this week. One of my favorites was when we showed the film at a township hall. It was a good set up with nice wooden floors giving the movie great acoustics. All week Sarah and I had a hard time finding our place without knowing either of the languages spoken. But this particular night, I was able to communicate effectively with the 100 or so youth who attended. I simply opened my mouth and the Lord spoke through me to the kids. They understood my English and so I continued on challenging them to come together as a community and fight for hope with AIDS constantly striping hope from people. I kept on and told of how there is no place on this earth that we can escape the love of the Lord. And how Christ reaches down and pulls us from the pit. And He crowns us with his love and compassion. There is nothing we can do that will separate us from His love. Dozens professed faith in Christ that night. I couldn't even count them all because I was so focuses on this one young guy who was totally broken and moved by the Holy Spirit. It was such a powerful night.
On the farms, we saw similar things happen. Many of the farm workers have children and families but few are actually married. A strong and wonderful man of God, Duleigh, was on our team and he preached the truth of marriage and what the Bible says about it. Many men stood under the conviction heavy on their hearts. They would either marry the women that they lived with or they would leave. So often men and women don't marry because the men have to pay (usually a sheep or a large sum of money) to the woman's family for her. Because they do not have enough to hardly maintain, they are also unable to afford this. But Duleigh did not back away from the truth. Just because it's hard it doesn't mean that God doesn't demand this of His children. So lives were greatly impacted by the simple power of the truth. I'm glad to have been apart. These are only a short few stories about the week. I wanted to give a small update with a few stories. Thanks for praying for us!
So I leave in the morning for a small little town called Somerset East until next Saturday. The aim team plus several other ministries are joining together for a program called "Beat the Drum". This will be a very powerful week so please please please pray for us! Here is some information about "Beat the Drum."
HISTORY OF BEAT THE DRUM
The horror of so many millions of souls currently under the curse of
AIDS has been seen. The movie "Beat the Drum" was the catalyst for our
response. A multi-faceted approach was developed that continued with a
massive campaign to train young people in AIDS prevention, mobilizing
people, volunteers from Africa and the US to break up into teams to go
into high schools to train the learners in biblically-based AIDS
prevention under a brand new project called, Beat the Drum.
Why Somerset East?
In early 2008 George and Michele Mwanza took a team to Somerset East
for outreach. They spent three days prayer walking through the
community. Through this prayer walk God introduced them to many
influential leaders and opened their eyes to the need for change and
growth within this small community. George knew that the town was ready
for Beat the Drum it was just getting influential leaders on board. On
Friday May 23rd six leaders went to present Beat the Drum to different
representatives of schools, businesses, and churches. The response was
amazing. God was so evident in that room that day. They are ready for
Beat the Drum to happen tomorrow. God is telling us that it's time to
move in to Summerset East and open their eyes and hearts to the ways of
our Lord.
PRAYER NEEDS:
*Continued prayer is needed for the whole week of community outreach week.
*Families of the community
*Finances
*HIV/AIDS positive people in the community
*Home Visits
*For the volunteers
*Curriculum facilitation
*Lasting impact and real value
*For God's spirit to be poured out on the people attending
*Opening of their eyes to the knowledge and truth with understanding
*The Truth of the Word of God
*For the overall smooth running of our programs
MISSION
To serve the Somerset East Community by bringing primarily the message
of abstinence through Beat the Drum project and giving hope through
meeting felt needs in the community.
EXPECTATION
To see the movement of God
To see believers, Churches and ministries join hands in unity to serve our community
PURPOSE
To educate on HIV/AIDS
To prevent and STOP HIV/AIDS in the community
To care for our community
Thanks for your prayers over the last week. I am feeling MUCH better! Praise the Lord! I will update when I return on the 20th. Miss yall!!!
I love that God chooses to use the broken things of the earth to display His glory. Let me explain further my love for this certain part of God's character. Scripture tells us so often through parables and miraculous healings that God takes broken, unfit, and inadequate people and lets His power and love flow through them. It's as if He is making a statement about His kingdom and the way that it works. Those who "have it all together" and are "religious" are so full of their "righteousness" that they have quickly forgotten their desperate need for God's love and grace. It's those who are empty that are able to be filled and used.
I am empty. So empty actually. I've tried for weeks to "fill myself" and I've fallen so short. I have tried to do things that restore my body and my spirit, but I still come up empty. I avoid people because I feel that everyone wants to take from me. They want to take my time, my engery, my thoughts, my love, my prayers, my advice, my giftings, they just want to take. And I have nothing to give. At least that's what I thought.
Yesterday, I laid in my bed most of the day because God has allowed my body to become empty. I am sick. I've got some nasty virus that's spread to every part of my body. It's been kinda rough. I finally went to the doctor today and he basically says that I have to let it be and let my body fight it off. I kinda have to smirk and think that God really wants me to learn something here.
I was reading last night in my "Celebration of Discipline" book (must read it!) about being empty and dry. Richard Foster says "When we despair of gaining inner transformation through human powers of will and determination, we are open to a wonderful realization: inner righteousness is a gift from God to be graciously received." I think I struggle with letting go. Just letting go of trying to be righteous and trying to be filled. I want to know exactly how much is going to be asked or required of me before I start giving myself away. That's not how God works though. It's Him within me that is being poured out. And when I am empty it's obvious that anything within me is coming from Him. It's a reminder to me that I am nothing apart from God. It's like John 15 with the vine and the branches.
Although I didn't feel well at all and I felt that I had nothing in me to give, God allowed me to be used last night. It was simple and nothing huge. But He was showing me that He gives me just enough as just the right time. I was about to go to bed. I felt bad and all I wanted to do was lay in my bed and try to sleep my sickness off. There are two girls staying at our leader house who have pink eye. I just felt that I needed to check on them and pray for them before I went to bed. So I did and it was such a sweet time. And God poured into me as I poured into them. Here I thought that I had absolutely nothing...and I didn't but He gave me enough at just the right time. I'm grateful to be used. And now I'm grateful to be empty.
On another note, I want to share a little about our house visiting teams. They are rockstars! Truly they are amazing. They have been so bold and have blessed me a ton. They are still finding their place in the townships amoungst several families. Already I can tell that they will experience amazing things while they are here. A lady named Evelynn lives next door to Noma. And Noma asked us to go and pray over Evelynn because she had a stoke soon after I came home for the summer. So all of us gathered in a small bedroom around a small bed where Evelynn laid. We placed our hands on her body and prayed a blessing for her. We prayed Psalm 23 over her and sang songs around her. She laid there and looked at us. She mumbled long sentences to us, but we were unable to understand anything she was verbally saying due to her stroke. But it was obvious that she was expressing her gratitude.
I am so proud of our team for boldly going into that situation on one of their first days in ministry. Maybe it doesn't seem like a big deal to pray for a woman who had a stroke. But if you could have been there you would understand. She was lying in her bed and because she is unable to move, her bed is also used as a toilet. Some days she is placed out in the front room so she can look out the window, but most days she lays in her own waste in her bed. I can't imagine the humiliation she must experience. But the joy she had on her face was incredible! She was thrilled to have so many young people standing in her very house praying for her. It was as if we were her grandchildren coming to spend the day with her. A few days later, her family told the team that she does so much better on the days that they come and pray for her. They have visited her as much as possible since then and are beginning to build relationships with Evelynn's children and grandchildren. I'm very excited for our house visit teams!
Ways you can pray:
Against sickness on the team
Against sickness on the leadership team
For the Beat the Drum program next week in Sommerset East (more on this later)
Our group discipleship. We meet 3 times a week for 3 hours.
This is my house visiting team. They did an incredible job this past semester. 
Sweet child at Khulisa Bible Study.
